Top ten films of the last 15 or 20 years [excluding stupid comedys sorry Clerks, The Ladies Man and Billy Madison]

10. Garden State

9. American History X

8. Silence of the Lambs

7. Full Metal Jacket

6. Donnie Darko

5. Glory

4. Reservior Dogs

3. Se7en

2. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

1. Shawshank Redemption [the only one I didn't have to think hard about]


I've felt this whole summer like I've been sinking slowly, but tonight is the first real time that I've felt that there might not be a happy ending after all. I guess I've just been thinking about the future lately. The only thing I think I might remotely want to do with my life is to be a teacher, but what if I don't hack it in grad school? What if I take some time off after next year and never go to grad school? What if I never find that person that won't ever forget me? The one that I come home to at night, the one that keeps me sane when the shit hits the fan. I know I'm probably too young to think about that shit, but I feel like I need to grow up like now, but I'm just not capable of it. I guess I'm just afraid that I'll end up in some dead-end retail job for the rest of my life, and I just can't do that, because at least [and this is a very low estimate] 83% of all people on this planet are completely stupid and I just can't deal with them. Is a fairy-tale ending [or at least a happy life] too much to ask for my future?